top of page

I refuse to discuss our communication issue

BW and I had a little tiff first thing this morning. Naturally, I was right, he was wrong.

He claims he told me one thing, I know I heard another. He says that I never listen, I say his communication styles suck. He says my head is buried in my laptop or a book half the time, and I’ve lost touch with reality. I say most writers hardly ever had much of a grasp on reality to begin with. But that doesn’t really help my argument. So I rarely say it out loud. Or at least not to BW.

In his defense, I totally tune him out when I’m writing. He can be a bit of a babbler, a fill the silence kind of guy. He’ll be the first to deny it, but it’s true. Now, I picked him, he’s mine, y’all can’t have him, blah, blah, blah. And I’ve never regretted him as a choice. But he still babbles and it still bugs the shit out of me when I’m writing or reading. Also in his defense, my reading or writing takes up 80% of my at-home awake time. The other 20% is usually spent cooking, cleaning, bathing, and having sex.

So, I will concede that it’s possible that he says things that I don’t listen to that may or may not have been important or essential in some way to my life. Or at least that’s what I would have said this morning, first thing.

But, I ranted when I got to work. (Something that often happens, and not just by me, in a small office with six women, most of whom are in a relationship.) My assistant, Ruby, got visibly ‘huffy’ as I recounted my tale. I asked why. She pointed to the sticky note on my phone that says “Always listen to Ruby.”

Now, I have that sticky on my phone because I will frequently get focused on something, and tune everyone/everything else out. Read: godawful country music played in the office by people like Ruby. So, we put a note on my phone, that I would see always, to remind me to perk my ears when I hear her little voice. Because Ruby kicks ass as an assistant. And if she’s talking to me, there’s a good reason for it, and my bad if I don’t listen.

She then suggested, in a nice way, that maybe the problem is with me. Since two very important people in my life suffer from the same calamity. Well, imagine my surprise to hear that. And holy shit if it ain’t true.

So Ruby, gem of a woman that she is, made a similar sign for me/BW that I can put on my desk at home. “Always listen to BW.” I’ve not yet stopped laughing at it. And, since I am my favorite person to laugh at, this has been immensely entertaining for me.

Will I start to listen better as a result? Probably not. Leopard can’t change it’s spots and all that jazz. But I do love the self-imposed self-reflection as a result. And, admitting it’s a problem is the first step, right?


bottom of page