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“Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.” – Jim Morrison

My friend Diane has worn her hair in a ponytail atop her head for as long as I’ve known her. Which is approximately 4 years. According to her, she’s worn it that way since she was in college. Which is approximately a lot more years. Last November, for her birthday, I bought her a haircut with my stylist, Kelly McCarthy. Kelly is a miracle worker with hair, not to mention an overall really great girl. She’s cute, fun, smart, and talented as hell. Plus she’s a fellow red-head! The only problem with Kelly is that she doesn’t take new clients, she hasn’t for years. Which is sad because I know (not to brag) that on the days that I actually style my hair, I am a walking advertisement for Kelly’s expertise. As I’m sure are the rest of her clients – and, there’s no better marketing piece than the testimonial. But as a favor to me, Kelly agreed to cut Diane’s hair.

Now, I should tell you that Diane’s hair is naturally curly and a tad unruly. And that one of the main reasons why she’s worn her hair in a pony for so long is because she’s very low maintenance where her appearance is concerned. She’s also a runner – she runs every morning, and she doesn’t like to spend a lot of time after her run getting ready for work. I call her a marathon runner, but she says that’s incorrect since the only true marathon she’s run was as part of a 4-person relay team and that her husband is the actual marathon runner, having completed the Boston Marathon in 3 hours, 30 minutes (yes, he’s a God!). She does run all sorts of “k’s” – 5 K’s, 10 K’s and whatever is in between. I really don’t know, I’m not a runner. She’s running her first half-marathon in two weeks and that will be her longest competive run, to date. I’ll continue to call her a marathon runner though, cause I like the way it sounds and I’m not sure there’s such a thing as a ‘k runner’. But I totally digress. . . .

Before seeing Kelly, I was worried that Diane would have a bit of a freak out, having worn her hair the same way for so long. I was also worried that it would turn out terrible and that we’d all hate it, since we were so used to seeing her hair the same way for so long. And lastly, I was worried that it would turn out great and that she’d still put it in a pony because it would be too much work to make it look great every day. But that was all just plain silly of me, because remember when I said Kelly is a miracle worker? She worked a true miracle with Diane’s hair, and in less than one hour, Diane was a changed woman. It’s weird to say, but it’s true, the hair changed the woman. Diane LOVED her hair, it looked fantastic on her – made her look younger, totally sexy, and vibrant – simply put, she glowed. Usually I hate the word glowed when used to describe women, as it should really only ever be used to describe a light bulb, but in this instance it works. It’s now been over two months and her hair still looks great. It’s super easy for her to style in the morning, and she loves it. Not a day goes by that her hair isn’t styled and looking fantastic.

Which brings us to today – I have my next hair appointment this coming week and usually I just get a trim and color touch up. For the last year I’ve been growing out some layers and letting the overall length get longer. And it is now exactly where I wanted it to be at this time last year. Which is great, right? Except that for the last couple weeks I’ve been in a bit of a mood with my hair. And last night, as I watched Diane play with her exceptionally fabulous hair, I decided that I wanted life changing hair too. Life changing hair is exactly the thing to get me out of this mood with my current hair. Life changing hair will turn my life around and . . . . well . . . . . change it! Get everything back on the proverbial track and moving forward (things being off track is of course a whole other issue, and not worth boring you with).

The last time I was in a mood remotely close to this, I accidentally got a bull dyke haircut – two weeks before my 10 year high school reunion. Nothing against bull dykes, or their hair, and sorry if the term itself offends, but it’s the closest descriptor that I can think of to best describe it. Except maybe Kate Gosselin, minus the recent hair extensions and an additional two inches from the front, sides, and back, but still with the rooster thing in the back, only a shorter rooster. I think my longest actual piece of hair was two inches. One of my girlfriends helped me try to style it before the reunion, and she had to use a teeny-tiny-baby sized curling iron to get my cowlicks to stay down.

So, am I afraid for the life of my hair, come Tuesday, when I next see Kelly? Absolutely. There’s no telling what I might do. I’ve already texted her a plea to stop me from myself. Not that she would ever give me a bad cut, because she is a hair-genius, but she might just give me what I ask for. And what if I ask for something that is not in the best interest of my hair? It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. . .


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