When I was in high school I had a friend that I cared about more than she cared about herself. It created problems in our friendship for the next 10 years until we finally stopped talking because she did something so dangerous to herself I couldn’t be around her any longer. Granted, this example is extreme. But, I fear I’ve put myself in this situation again.
I have a friend, who I love dearly, and I care more about her happiness than she does. It drives me crazy, the situation she has put herself in. And allows herself to remain in. With the explanation of either “whatevahs” or “it is what it is”.
My current dream for her is that we have a conversation where neither of those phrases are used, because everything is good. And she’s happy. And her needs are being met.
Not that she’s meeting someone else’s needs and pushing her own aside. What makes their’s more important than hers? I have no idea how to get in to that mind set so I can better understand her and the decisions she makes.
And doesn’t the crux of acceptance lie in understanding?
And if you can’t wholly accept, how long do you continue to support decisions that bely reason?