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The more people I meet through my writing, the more people I connect with. I suppose it’s like anything, right? You are exposed to a new sub-set of beings you are bound to find some you can relate to. But what is funny is that, because the bulk of the communication with all of these newbies in my life is online, they don’t get me.

By that I mean my sarcasm and my humor. Rarely am I serious with what comes out of my mouth. Actually, I should say my head since I could be saying it, or writing it. Hardly ever do I have a tried and true serious statement or opinion. 87% of the time it’s sarcasm and bullshit.

I did not come to this percentage lightly. This number, 87, is well thought-out number on my part. I am leaving 3% for politics, religion, world peace, and all that; and then 10% for wine and food. Because I’m always serious when I’m talking about wine and food.

Otherwise, you can anticipate that I’m joking, full of shit, trying to get a reaction. It’s how I deal, how I cope, how I make sense of this fucked up world that we live in and life in general. Am I funny when communicating within my 87%? Probably not. Or, maybe sometimes. I won’t give it a percentage, but I’m going to guess it’s less than half or else my life-long dream of becoming Dennis Miller’s sidekick would have been realized long ago.

My point being, that new people don’t necessarily understand this and they will jump to explain to me whatever point it is that I have surely missed since my comment can’t possibly apply because it wasn’t serious. I think now my only recourse is to have t-shirts made that say, “ATTENTION: THERE IS ONLY A 13% CHANCE THAT WHAT I’VE JUST SAID IS SERIOUS.”

I kind of like that, actually. I was joking when I typed it, but it would make a good t-shirt.


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